holding hands

her grip
felt more like
preventing me
from leaving
than wanting me
to stay

Degree of Exposure

when the tide lapped our feet
hungry for the salt off our skin
we woke

we pulled away from each other
despite the resistance from our bodies
sticking with sweat

outlined in sudden white against your chest
my hand, fingers splayed too short, grasping
you looked, laughed

then traced a stinging line across my neck
the dips and ridges of your face branded
must mean more

for keeps

a day without a
date-you left
your jacket here

today I found
it; slumped, dying;
in back of the closet

it held you,
your shape, closer
even to a ghost

and your smell
explored creases and
cracks of leather

I put it on
a wire hanger,
closed the door

you have other
jackets

you're welcome

Don't thank me
for the tears I cried
over you.

(you may have noticed
how puffy my eyes are)

Don't thank me
for cleaning up your mess
when you broke my heart.

(by the way,
I need that piece back)

Don't thank me
for smiling
when I see you.

(it's only because
I can't help it)

Don't thank me
for moving on
to him.

(he has your eyes
except

They are all mine.)

Thank you.

National Poetry Writing Month + A Hiatus Update

April 1st marks a special day in my writing life. It is the first day of National Poetry Writing Month, or
NaPoWriMo for short. NaPoWriMo is a month-long challenge where the goal is to write a poem every day. This will be my third year participating.

Many participants post their poems online and I am one of them. A poem will be put up later today and then every day after until May 1st. To see my past poems, you can go to my Samples page or scroll through the posts under my NaPoWriMo label. If you are interested in seeing others poems, there is a list of participants' sites on the NaPoWriMo site.

I've been looking forward to NaPoWriMo. Last year, it helped me get through an emotional time. I'm hoping that this year it will help me work out my thoughts and feelings about various things going on in my life right now. W. H. Auden said, "Poetry might be defined as the clear expression of mixed feelings." I believe he's right.

In preparation for NaPoWriMo, I bought a new notebook. It's bitty and fits in my hand. This makes it easy for me to carry it around. You never know when inspiration will strike. Also, I have a few ideas stored in my head that should get me through the first few days. I'm ready!

If you would like to take part in NaPoWriMo as well, check out their website. Don't forget to add your blog to the participants' list if you are going to be posting your poems.

However, though I will be posting very regularly in April, I am not officially coming out of my semi-hiatus. While I am nearly ready for it, my life is not. If that makes sense. But soon. I think it will be soon. Until then, my only posts should be my poems. Just as a warning. ;P

A Semi-Hiatus is Needed

So... I've never had to write a post like this before. I've written about being tired of reading, of projects, of life in general, but I've never said I'm tired of this. Of talking to you guys through my posts and comments. Of reading yours, even if I get a bit stressed over that occasionally. I've never said I was tired of the Internet. But there's a first time for everything.

I just have no motivation. To do an-y-thing. I don't feel like reading and replying to emails, like reading posts, like writing posts, like critiquing things on Figment. I don't even want to watch YouTube videos for goodness sake! This lethargy and lack of drive weighs on me.

And I think this worry and stress is affecting other areas of my life. I feel nothing when I think about my writing goals that I was so excited about just a month ago. Thinking about my homework makes me want to just cry or explode or die or all three.

I need to shut down, reboot. Which is why I'm going on a bit of a hiatus.

I'm not sure how long I'll be gone. I need to immerse myself back in my life, my writing, and figure out a way to make the Internet a less stressful place once again, a place I enjoy being. No matter how long though, I'll be returning in storm. As the mood and ideas strike me, I plan to write and stockpile posts so that I will have plenty of things to share with you when I get back. I may also post an update or two between now and then. You never know what may happen.

Hopefully, I'll "see" all of you soon!

QUARTZ FOUNTAIN and OVERCOMING ADVERSITY

Today I have two very special announcements!

The first I've waited about a week to tell you. Last summer I mentioned that the Oklahoma Summer Arts Institute was putting together an anthology for the class of 2012. Well, they've finally finished it!

QUARTZ FOUNTAIN includes three or four poems from each student as well as their portrait. I'm the third person in because we're organized in alphabetical order. Three of my poems are included-two I read at a performance while at OSAI and one I chose. It is available in paperback for ten dollars. Purchase links are on my Publications page if you would like to check it out further.


While I am very excited about my anthology, that's not the end of my good news!

About a month ago, I participated in The Overcoming Adversity Bloghop hosted by Nick Wilford. His goal was to compile entries for an anthology he would sell to fundraise money for his stepson's college fund. The Kindle edition of this book was released today! The paperback will hopefully be released in a few days time. Purchase information for this book can also be found on my Publications page.

It's funny because the piece I wrote for OVERCOMING ADVERSITY: AN ANTHOLOGY FOR ANDREW was a part of my writing sample for my audition for the Oklahoma Summer Arts Institute this year. Here's to hoping it lives up to its name and overcomes the adversity that is being chosen to attend this camp once more!