I'm thinking about posting the ending just to get some opinions on it (that is, if anyone besides my friends on Neo actually reads this). I'm trying to decide between that and a section from one of the other two chapters. But then again, this post is devoted to Chapter Three. I guess that settles it then.
“He hasn’t done anything wrong!”
Shouting in the next room jerked Tilo awake. He groaned and pulled the covers over his head.
“Not yet, he hasn’t. But he’s going to. And soon. You know the details of Temp’s vision just like the rest of us.” The voice that replied was calmer and Tilo recognized it instantly. Thorn. Tilo frowned. What was Thorn doing here in the middle of the night? And what was he fighting with his mother about? Pulling the covers off his head, he turned to hear better.
“But maybe it changed. Maybe it’s not going to happen anymore. Temp himself is always saying how the future is not set in stone. He hasn’t done anything to suggest he would run to the humans and turn traitor.” The desperation rang clearly through his mother’s voice. Tilo could feel his rage burning. Thorn had no right to do this to his mother! Who was this he they were talking about anyway?
“Tilo hasn’t done anything to suggest he won’t either. We can’t be too careful. What if he figures out a way to let the humans come here? You know we can’t let that happen. I’m just suggesting we keep him under watch. He doesn’t even have to know. Why are you getting so upset?” Thorn’s deep voice made everything seem even quieter after he stopped talking.
Him? They thought he was going to turn to the humans? What had Thorn said? Something about one of Temp’s visions? A million questions started flying through his head. What was he going to do? Could he even do anything? The room started spinning. He squeezed his eyes tight. He waited to hear his mother’s reply. She would set Thorn straight. He shouldn’t be worrying.
The silence dragged out. Why didn’t she say something? What was she waiting for? Finally, the sound of a long drawn out sigh drifted into his room. “He doesn’t have to know?”
Thorn confirmed his mother’s betrayal, “He doesn’t have to know.”
Long after the front door clicked shut, Tilo stared into the dark, thinking. Planning was a better word. He didn’t think he could act normal when he knew someone was watching him. They would definitely find him if he went anywhere in Syng. The only solution was going through the tunnel. They were all so worried about him sneaking off to the humans, he wondered how they would feel if they knew they had driven him to it.
He didn’t feel good about his decision but what else was he to do? He curled up into a ball and tried to go back to sleep. He would need every ounce of energy during his escape. His eyes were closing and his mind was going fuzzy when the bird started to sing, “Be very careful with the games you play.”
Would this keep you reading? Would it make you throw away the story in disgust? Somewhere in between? I really want to know. Need to know. If my story's not interesting, I'll never get that editor and I'll be stuck on the first ledge for the rest of my life (though if you think about it, if it's not interesting it's not worth reading so I wouldn't even be at the first ledge).
For the next chapter I'm planning to switch over to Cassie. I don't know exactly what I'm going to write about. It's too early for Tilo to show up. I need to think about it. Here's to hoping I figure it out soon.
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