tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8223068889792863979.post1881820872597774561..comments2023-10-11T05:06:04.185-05:00Comments on Paper Mountain: Prompt #39: This is the short version of my story, the simplest way I can possibly tell it.Brooke R. Bussehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17147444223968856153noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8223068889792863979.post-43385003387555160702011-10-04T16:34:13.877-05:002011-10-04T16:34:13.877-05:00Do you think adding something about their house be...Do you think adding something about their house being in a secluded place, like an island or something would help? If you not, do you feel like there is something else that could? I'm just trying to gauge people's thoughts.Brooke R. Bussehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17147444223968856153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8223068889792863979.post-44398023833587129062011-10-03T23:39:47.907-05:002011-10-03T23:39:47.907-05:00I really, really enjoyed this, and it fits the pro...I really, really enjoyed this, and it fits the prompt so literally it makes my head spin!<br /><br />My only wish is that the beginning could have been tweaked, so I knew for sure who was likely at the door at the end (your comments made perfect sense, but without them I just thought vague bad-stuff-or-people were at the door, not necessarily that they were hiding from the government). <br /><br />Great piece, and now you're all caught up (of course, I'm not..yet)!Jeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16533424312167293180noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8223068889792863979.post-42594955625134848592011-10-03T16:56:34.848-05:002011-10-03T16:56:34.848-05:00It's very possibly government officials. :PIt's very possibly government officials. :PBrooke R. Bussehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17147444223968856153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8223068889792863979.post-41072219046542515352011-10-03T11:45:07.962-05:002011-10-03T11:45:07.962-05:00Great punch at the end! What's the maid seeing...Great punch at the end! What's the maid seeing?!!!!cleemckenziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15456109243453726483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8223068889792863979.post-72447671235519717742011-10-02T15:25:26.531-05:002011-10-02T15:25:26.531-05:00Thanks, Trisha, but your second comment is confusi...Thanks, Trisha, but your second comment is confusing me. I don't have any stories that are incomplete.Brooke R. Bussehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17147444223968856153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8223068889792863979.post-41780816586430615772011-10-01T20:00:56.358-05:002011-10-01T20:00:56.358-05:00Well done on getting caught up (and I don't th...Well done on getting caught up (and I don't think having stories incomplete counts, at least you have something on them!!)Trishahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16927558937796802496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8223068889792863979.post-16067682981847546232011-09-30T18:24:04.905-05:002011-09-30T18:24:04.905-05:00@Sarah That's because it's about 400 words...@Sarah That's because it's about 400 words longer than my usual ones. XD <br /><br />@Michael Damn it! And you're the critical thinker. -sigh-<br /><br />-deep breath- The people found them. They've been hiding "far away" and they haven't been abiding by the rules. But the government has now found them which is why the door is banging. Can you at least see that when I tell you?<br /><br />Oh, and it's Stephn. I also changed Alyssa to Alysa. It's supposed to signify how they have to cut all their words down.Brooke R. Bussehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17147444223968856153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8223068889792863979.post-34207912525581388262011-09-30T17:09:00.952-05:002011-09-30T17:09:00.952-05:00I have no idea what was at the door and what she n...I have no idea what was at the door and what she needed to be prepared for. I loved the story though of the princess who refused to speak after she smugly told Stephan that when she was queen that her word count wouldn't matter.<br /><br />It seems like a strong dystopian world similar to Allie Condie's Matched but instead of being arranged marriage it's a restriction of course of a different sort...that of communication. <br /><br />I know the grandfather made the recording so he must have been the author of the story. <br /><br />Your STORIES ALWAYS CONFUZZLE ME DAMNABBIT!Michael Offutt, Phantom Readerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10557969104886174930noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8223068889792863979.post-36925809451438591692011-09-30T13:53:51.438-05:002011-09-30T13:53:51.438-05:00Usually I long to read more of your worlds. This o...Usually I long to read more of your worlds. This one, I think, is absolutely perfect at this length. Another great piece.Sarah Tokeleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13273148070092101085noreply@blogger.com